"Will you sign this poster for me?" said a man in his late 60s as I was making my way backstage with a young musician my husband plays guitar for. "We are huge fans!” 

I am two parts: one part desire and one part need. I require calm, rest, routine and safety. I desire connection, courage and out-of-the-ordinary. “Need” trumps “desire” regularly. I don’t see this as a bad thing; rather, “need” pays the bills so that “desire” might spend money on occasion.

As far as my eyes could see, terracotta-coloured sandstone walls in every direction. Something within me shifted. The air was filled with magical dust, which I inhaled in. My lungs expanded, opening up airways to my heart, beating with astonishment and appreciation. 

Our road trip featured landscapes straight out of a western film, complete with red rock cliffs, stoney mountain ranges, and desolate wasteland that could turn any ill-fated visitor into a skull mantle piece. It was both awe-inspiring and nerve-racking.

I found myself drifting off in thought after my therapist mentioned a “new” treatment for anxiety. “What would my life look like if I were healthy? Wait…I am pretty healthy, aren’t I?

The way I approach an ocean swim is similar to my journey with health.