listening to the voice within
Winston’s need for more than just a cozy Saturday night in perfectly resembles my current experience. I have felt this push and pull (‘Safety’ & ‘Openness’ as I labelled them in my last blog post) - a desire to be outgoing and social, mixed with a need to lay low and stick to a calming routine.
My parts need space for expression, a voice in my consciousness and compassion for each other as they are all ‘part’ of me.
The task was time-consuming but very therapeutic.
So what would it look like for me to break my routine and be as playful and carefree as a child? My curiosity seemed to be sparked at the perfect time…
My beloved spring has felt like Mom ripping back my blankets and telling me I’m going to be late for school. I’m uncomfortable with this change and prefer to be bundled in safety.
I was immersed in numbing noise until, “Pop!” I was startled when I heard an odd crackling noise. My senses sharpen as I fixate on finding this peculiar burst.
I left social contexts with rigid divides - ones where separating lines were drawn in permeant black marker with a clear “in and out” divide/mindset. When I participated in these social contexts, I was both insecure and confident.
February was a turbulent month and I struggled to write a post. In short, a few years ago February was the month that my body collapsed. And each year my body seems to recall this terrible time. Years prior to having a breakdown I had conditioned my body to a high level of stress. My... Continue Reading →
On the bare January tree in front of me I notice a ‘wish star’ gripping its feather-like arms to a thin branch. I’m intrigued, and the dull frigid January air seems to warm.
There’s only been once in my life where I experienced silence so golden, so crystal clear, that I’ll never forget it.