
<p class="has-text-color has-link-color has-medium-font-size wp-elements-d257dc6aaee25f59e3d70671a7ea4559 wp-block-paragraph" style="color:#1ebdc3">&#8220;Holding space means giving support that is free of judgement. It involves a conscious and deliberate choice to put aside our agenda, the need for our own specific outcome and the desire to give advice or “fix” a person or their situation.” <a href="https://www.natajsawagner.com/blog/what-does-it-mean-to-hold-space">Natajsa Wagner</a> ;</p>



<p class="has-black-color has-text-color has-link-color has-medium-font-size wp-elements-abbce739d401267c5f9fd7ad6f5fc3db wp-block-paragraph">I believe I first heard the expression &#8220;holding space&#8221; at a church. In therapy, I&#8217;ve learned to hold space for myself and others, which has been a transforming experience. I&#8217;ve also experienced moments of ‘space&#8217; with close friends and even colleagues. ;</p>



<p class="has-black-color has-text-color has-link-color has-medium-font-size wp-elements-78f783954d18fc4beeeb55d6688ae3f0 wp-block-paragraph">How would I describe holding space for someone? I’ll start with my experience.</p>



<p class="has-black-color has-text-color has-link-color has-medium-font-size wp-elements-fc6269e117f2eeb3d6237c51e6147c1f wp-block-paragraph">She sat patiently with her attention completely attuned to me. I felt ashamed because I wanted to be in control, appear ‘put together’ and feel respected. I was vulnerable. She was not concerned with my state, but I felt as though she saw me as I wished I could see myself. Her posture, open and inviting. Without words, it seemed like she was saying to me, “I am fully here without judgement or agenda.” I trusted her and felt myself relax. I received her compassion like a swimmer yielding to the currents, trusting my buoyancy and the pattern of the waves. I am human, both beautiful and broken. ;</p>



<p class="has-black-color has-text-color has-link-color has-medium-font-size wp-elements-1ea53a6eb7de929f9f1e026dea2ad2fb wp-block-paragraph">As I sensed her compassion increasingly, I found that I could access parts of myself that I’ve buried deep within. Parts that once were un-welcomed, ‘bad’ or not useful were greeted with new perspective as space was being held for me. This space infused self-worth and self-compassion in me, and I realized that I&#8217;m not obliged to please everyone.</p>



<p class="has-text-align-left has-black-color has-text-color has-link-color has-medium-font-size wp-elements-db6cf38939ad393b59fcadca9b59f27b wp-block-paragraph"><em>I recognize that I’ve spent a lifetime in the shadows, longing to stand up and be heard. I speak but the wind sweeps my words away, never reaching any ears. So I dress up my words in a suit and tie and serve them back verbatim.This gives them a sense of power. I am all too familiar with this exchange and find it repugnant. I am confined, put in the corner, and told to remain still. My duty is clear: listen and never contribute. ;</em></p>



<p class="has-black-color has-text-color has-link-color has-medium-font-size wp-elements-efbb834ea3e1da1e4477c207aeb7ff29 wp-block-paragraph"><em>I feel defeated but not for long…</em></p>



<p class="has-black-color has-text-color has-link-color has-medium-font-size wp-elements-1b2d302b8159ad7ff8d49dbb0affc84d wp-block-paragraph">She welcomes me back into the wide open space where courage rises within me. I don’t need to fight to be heard. I don’t have to override their voices with volume or convince them that what I have to say is important. All I have to do is trust my intuition and speak up when I know that I will be heard and understood. ;</p>



<p class="has-black-color has-text-color has-link-color has-medium-font-size wp-elements-ec7d07a4ce6731488b696d87299924c4 wp-block-paragraph">When I am given room &#8211; beautiful, attentive, attuned space &#8211; I am free to express both the beautiful and broken person that is me.</p>



<p class="has-black-color has-text-color has-link-color has-medium-font-size wp-elements-bcbe450cd892d46dce4533419c50df69 wp-block-paragraph">My experience has resulted in self-compassion, insight, and the ability to start holding space for others.</p>

Holding Space
