
<p class="has-medium-font-size wp-block-paragraph">It’s happened! The world has pointed out to me that I am middle-aged. Ugh!</p>



<p class="motherhood middle age gender roles has-medium-font-size wp-block-paragraph" id="motherhood-middle-age-gender-roles"><em>&#8220;Will you sign this poster for me?&#8221;</em> said a man in his late 60s as I was making my way backstage with a young musician my husband plays guitar for. <em>&#8220;We are huge fans!” ;</em></p>



<p class="has-medium-font-size wp-block-paragraph">The musician was minutes away from taking the stage, making it difficult for him to sign the poster. Recognizing the untimely request, the man turns to me, <em>“Are you his mother?”</em> Startled, I respond, <em>“No, but I can hold onto the poster for you until he signs it.” ;</em></p>



<p class="has-medium-font-size wp-block-paragraph"><em>“Am I his mother…”</em> I mutter to myself as I headed to the stage to watch the concert.</p>



<p class="has-medium-font-size wp-block-paragraph">This was only the beginning of a series of similarly awkward encounters with complete strangers. Within about a six-week span I had four different people ask me, <em>“Are you his mother? Whose mom are you? Do you have children?” </em>These inquiries were literally the first or second questions asked during the conversation. ;</p>



<p class="has-medium-font-size wp-block-paragraph">The last inquiry was incredibly odd. During a visit to my family’s vacation residence, my parents asked me to pick up 50/50 tickets. While I was waiting in line to buy my tickets, a guy around my age asked me two questions: <em>“Do you know Dave?” </em>and <em>“Do you have children?”</em> It was so awkward and bothersome. <em>Can’t a girl just go about her business?</em></p>



<p class="has-medium-font-size wp-block-paragraph">After these four interactions, I’ve been thinking about how the world views me as a middle-aged woman. I should mention that my husband was present for three of the four interactions, and was never asked once, <em>&#8220;Are you his dad?” </em>or <em>“Do you have children?” </em>So, why wasn&#8217;t he? There are clearly differing assumptions regarding genders.</p>



<p class="has-medium-font-size wp-block-paragraph">Even though they were strangers, I was still bothered that they did not first offer me a chance to tell them my name, and let me decide how I introduce myself. I&#8217;m sure my response would have been different if I were a mother. It might have been one of pride or simply neutral.</p>



<p class="has-medium-font-size wp-block-paragraph">As odd and personal as these assumptions are, they hit a deep chord of belonging. <strong>If I am not who you think I am, do I belong or do you move-on? </strong>In all but one encounter, the conversation stopped after my response. ;</p>



<p class="has-medium-font-size wp-block-paragraph">Making assumptions is common, but more importantly, we should respect people&#8217;s choice to disclose themselves to us on their own terms. If I could re-phrase each inquiry, they would sound like this: <em>“Hi, I’m so-and-so! What brings you here? How are you connected with the band? How do you know so-and-so? and Good luck with the 50/50 draw tonight!”</em> ;</p>



<p class="has-medium-font-size wp-block-paragraph">Assumptions are natural, and occasionally they prove to be accurate, but please allow ME introduce myself. ;</p>



<p class="has-medium-font-size wp-block-paragraph">I might not be who you assume I am, and are you okay with that?</p>


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Who Do You Think I Am?
"Will you sign this poster for me?" said a man in his late 60s as I was making my way backstage with a young musician my husband plays guitar for. "We are huge fans!”