<p>“You’re fine!”</p>
<p>As red spots appeared all over my skin I replied with, “No, I’m not! This happens every night.&#8221;</p>
<p>“Look, it’s going to get better!”</p>
<p>I stood there, unable to convince my audience that it’s not a matter of attitude but a medical reality. As the red spots rapidly raised my skin into amass of hives, I felt defeated on two accounts: first, the hives are taking over. Second, being misunderstood and muted.</p>
<p>“You’re fine!&#8221; is a response I’ve heard far too many times in my life. To my uneasiness, I always reply with, “I’m fine! It’s okay!” all the while knowing that it is not what I genuinely feel or think. I get it, “You’re fine!” is supposed to snap you out of negative thinking and, in a weird way, encourage you. Heck, I’m just as guilty of using “You’re fine!” as a dose of medicine to the worried. What else can you say?</p>
<p>It’s only recent that I realized how ignorant, “You’re fine!” can feel. Through personal reflection I’ve discovered that when I hear, “You’re fine!” what I really hear is, “Ignore your gut-response, stuff your emotions in a tickle-trunk and don’t speak of it anymore.” I’m cautiously navigating through the years of socially-appropriate agreement, “Yes, I’m fine!” by asking myself, “Am I truly fine?”<span class="Apple-converted-space"> </span></p>
<p>I’m doing this by learning to trust the gut-response. It’s the “Wait! Something isn’t right here!” kind of sensation. I have the right to feel angry, upset, sad, disappointed, and so on. The gut-response initializes action in one of three ways: ignore, react or plan. Ignore is the ‘I’m fine!’ pill you swallow. React is impulsive and seeks immediate gratification, usually in the form of vengeance or wallowing. Plan is I will feel and I will decide.</p>
<p>The next time I hear, “You’re fine!” I won&#8217;t be quick to glaze over my feelings or the feelings of others. I will get better at listening and simply ‘being-present.’ I will ask, “What is needed?&#8221; and &#8220;What is the best way to move forward?”<span class="Apple-converted-space"> </span></p>
<p>There’s no pretending “I’m fine!” when I’m covered head-to-toe with amass of ever-spreading hives. No matter how much positive self-talk or hearing the words, “You’re fine! It will get better!” A good cry and silent comfort from loved ones is the best medicine. I know someday I will be fine but pretending it’s fine right now is a lie and a revolt to what I’m genuinely feeling. <strong>I will feel and I will decide.</strong></p>
<figure id="attachment_1615" aria-describedby="caption-attachment-1615" style="width: 655px" class="wp-caption alignnone"><img class="alignnone wp-image-1615" src="https://thesoulwhispersblog.com/wp-content/uploads/2018/10/img_1164.jpeg" alt="IMG_1164.jpeg" width="655" height="491" /><figcaption id="caption-attachment-1615" class="wp-caption-text"><em>&#8220;let every person be quick to hear, slow to speak, slow to anger;&#8221; James 1:19b</em></figcaption></figure>
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“You’re Fine.”
